Mood: Pretty sleepy right now
Currently listening to: Colorblind - Counting Crows

Well, the night marches relentlessly on although i'm glad to report that the assignment is coming along nicely. The only downside is that there's two of them to be done so i'm not out of the woods yet. Not by a long shot. :(

Just came back from a quick trip to Devi's Corner in order to gain some nourishment, have a walk and a think. Come to think of it, ever since i started doing those long meandering walks in the middle of the night back in Melbourne i've always felt the greatest of comfort and serenity from the dark warm (well, here anyway) night. Of course, one can never be too careful with these walks as the imagination tends to occasionally take hold of the senses or other more physical dangers can often lurk around dark corners - so take my advise and bring along a knife or similar item for assurance in either circumstance should you decide to go on such things. ;)

I've been listening to Colorblind (see above) for a while now, thanks in no small part to my brother's recommendation, and its a song which has both become a firm favourite of mine and one i feel i can most sincerely relate to. Everything about it from the words to that haunting melody fits my thoughts perfectly and it never fails to draw a tear from me, or at the very least a disconsolate sigh. To put it bluntly, its quite possibly the most beautifully morose song which i have heard in a long time and i have a feeling a few of you out there would be able to relate to it... Here's a sample and the lyrics:

I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready (x 3)
I am taffy stuck and tongue tied
Stutter shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready (x 3)
I am fine
I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded and unfolded and unfolding
I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready (x 3)
I am fine (x 3)

So why do i feel so strongly about it? Well, first off, its words are pretty much open to multiple interpretations - everything from racial differences to schizophrenia (just do a search on google if you want to see what i mean). Personally i feel its a song describing those wonderfully subtle painful feelings of loneliness, vulnerability, frustration and... well... depression in general.

I see the title and his reference to his being colorbind as a reference to his inability to see any joy or colour in the world around him, to a high degree that is emphasised by the contrast described by 'coffee black and egg white'. His lines 'I am taffy stuck and tongue tied; Stutter shook and uptight' strike me as particularly poignant as a representation of vulnerability - that inability to express oneself, of anxiety, nervousness in front of anyone and general anti-social behaviour. That of not understanding, or feeling misunderstood. 'I am covered in skin; No one gets to come in' seems to reinforce this sense of anti-social, lonely behaviour, with all his feelings and confusions pent up within him, while 'I am folded and unfolded and unfolding' seems to me as an indicator of that sense of unravelling that feels oh so familiar...

His repeated exortions of 'Pull me out from inside' and 'I am ready' seem to indicate a cry for help, of coming to a realisation that he wants to not feel this way but asks for someone or something to come through his shell and draw him out. Its almost like he's waiting, or pleading. Finally, 'I am fine' sounds almost like a sad... denial. Almost as though someone had asked him if he was all right and he's trying to put on a front, or told him that there was nothing wrong with him - or indeed if he is trying to convince himself, unsuccessfully, even wishfully, that everything IS fine.

Well, that's what i think its trying to say. *sigh*

Pretty sure that my cold dissection of this great song hardly does it any justice - take my word for it and just listen to this sad, lonely tune... Its for those... days. You know the ones.

Sorry if the grammar is bad but i'm just so tired...