Mood: On verge of losing consciousness
Currently listening to: The Blue Danube Op.314 - Strauss II

Got this email from my 13 year old (at least i think she's 13) cousin Michelle in Australia, and i thought it was pretty amusing what with the 'sensitive' drivel that the majority of the 'fairer' (hah!) sex tend to devote themselves to half the time, of which my Inbox is a victim. I refuse to suffer reading through this alone! I WILL spare you the stereotypical death threats that one receives if it is not forwarded though. Enjoy.

*evil maniacal laughter follows*

*This is so cute!!!!!! and it's all true! All those things that they say girls love guys for is true!!! (hint)(hint)
*This is really cute guys! especially the end

The Lovers of the Heart

In order to form a more perfect kiss,
enable the mighty hug to promote,
to whom we please but one kiss.

Article 1 : Statement of Love: The Kiss

1. Kiss on the hand.... I adore you
2. Kiss on the cheek... I just want to be friends
3. Kiss on the neck... I want you
4. Kiss on the lips... I love you
5. Kiss on the ears... I am just playing (i hate that)
6. Kiss anywhere else .. lets not get carried away
7. Look in your eyes ... kiss me
8. Playing with your hair... I can't live without you
9. Hand on your waist... I love you to much to let you go

Article 2: The Three Steps

1. Girls: If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him
2. Guys: If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good
3. Guy and Girls: Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare

Article 3: The Commandments

1. Thou shall not squeeze to hard.
2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, just give one or take one.
3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.

**Remember**

A peach is a peach
A plum is a plum,
A kiss isn't a kiss without some tongue
so open up your mouth,
close your eyes,
and give your tongue some exercise!!!

WELL here's a few reasons why guys like girls...

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. the ease in which they fit into our arms
5. the way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end makes it all worth while
8. because they are always warm even when its minus 30 out side
9. the way they look good no matter what they wear
10. the way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. the way her hand always finds yours
13. the way they smile
14. the way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later you will be arguing about something
16. the way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you'
18. Actually ... ! ! ju! ! st the way they kiss you...
19. the way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt . (even though we don't admit it)!
23. the way they say "I miss you"
24. the way you miss them
25. the way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.....Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound,you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of theheart.

This is a love chain letter. In 5 days you are supposed to send it to
25 people.It is easy, just look into chat rooms and find them. Anyway, send
it to 25 people in 5 days. Now here comes the fun part. You then say the name
of the person you like or love and then the person will say "I love you," or
"Will you go out with me?" NO JOKE!!!!!


BLEARGH!!! *sound of Pat puking* Good lord, is this what those teenie bopper magazines are doing to kids these days??? Yeargh...

*shudder*

Inevitably some of the female viewers out there are no doubt going "Awwww..." or "Pat is such a bastard!", but no! I maintain my stand on this outrageous lecherous rag which is corrupting the young, fertile (not to mention nubile... oops!), pubescent minds of the girls of this world! 3vil!!!

So says the bitter, lonely man! ;p

Hah!

Doh. Consciousness slipping... here i come Neverland!

Wha...? This isn't Neverland! Its... its... NOOOOOOO!!! AIIIIEEAARRRGGHH!!!

FIN