Pat's Sanitarium
Pat's Sanitarium
A retreat for the well-being of my mind from the insanity of the life that is mine.
Monday, May 23, 2005

Looooong Day 


Mood: Exhausted
Currently listening to: Cherry Lips - Garbage
Thought Of The Day: "Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired." - Jules Renard

Shit lah, i'm seriously tired from this lousy excuse of a national holiday (Wesak day for those who don't know). While everyone else is sitting on their asses i'm having to haul my ass over to uni to meet with my International Marketing lecturer at 11am who then proceeds to send me and Soo Jin (aka, 'Cupid' to those in the know - frankly i suspect he's a serial romantic...) to One Utama for the entire day to get people to fill out our Super GT survey.

Which is one of those primo examples in life of 'easier said than done'.


So there we went, for a total of six straight exhausting hours in One Utama trying to get 90-odd people to state their opinions on an event which 99% of them had no idea existed ("Ehhhh? Like F1 ah?" *sound of Pat's spleen imploding*), as well as dealing with the occasional fuckwit ("I don't like paper - you read it out to me can?" *wtf?*).


Still, i managed to deduce a few things from the whole survey experience:

1. Smokers are fucking GOLD when it comes to survey filling!!! (plus yours truly gets to indulge in his favourite activity while he's at it)

2. Women, for the most part, upon hearing us utter the words 'Super Gran Turismo' or 'Motorsports' have a tendency to have their eyes glaze over and scurry away. Hrmmm... the legacy of the stereotype holds true... Either that or they just don't trust me... *ponder*

3. Bored, lonely, disconsolate people are the best to approach if you're trying to do your survey inside a shopping mall... everyone else just pretty much ignores you. Oh, and sales staff tend to be pretty forthcoming about filling out the forms even while they're on duty (thanks Starbucks! Oh, and Yamaha too!). Maybe they're that bored? Hrmmm... actually its more likely that they can relate to the drudgery we were doing... ;p

Anyhoo... from being utterly shy and unproductive in the beginning (38 in the first three hours? Bleargh!) we somehow managed to forcefully shove our self esteem aside and turn on our 'i don't give a shit' modes on and went for it. Hell, in our final hour of work, we made an unprecedented 20 surveys alone, for a total of 72 out of 90 - w00t!

Went back through traffic, which gave us ample time to fluff up the numbers with an additional imaginary five surveys apiece (hehehe), and met up with the lecturer and the other teams who were sent to the other locations. Of course, karma had to strike at that point and exactly eight of our surveys were rejected by him for being 'incomplete' (aka, idiots at the mall left out their occupation, sex, etc. thus rendering the data unusable, which kinda rendered our nefarious activities moot).

But hey, at RM2.50/survey done we managed to walk away with RM90 each - as well as some... *ahem* examination goodwill i hope *winkity wink* - so it wasn't all bad i guess. In addition to this he'll be trying to get us a discount on the tickets to the actual Super GT event on June 26-28 (main event i'm hoping) so that we can conduct another survey on site...

Can you say, "Japanese Race Queens"?


Oh... and the cars too of course. I've never actually gone to an actual motorsports event (although i have a VERY vague recollection of some superbike thing) so i'm really looking forward to this... :)

Weekend Recap

Yeah, shit, might as well... i've got a serious backlog of events to go through - "Guilt Posting" as Monsieur 'Le Boon' puts it. Right, gonna try and make this quick...

Friday: Was supposed to watch Star Wars 3 with Alvin, Al, and Ken at Times Square but there was an unfortunate clash with my belated Mother's Day gift to my ma... *sob*

Dammit, and the cinemas are fully booked for the next few conceivable weeks too... :(

Anyhow, took my mother to Kick It at Summit for salsa, with the event ostensibly being held as a farewell to the Malaysian salsa delegation who will be going to compete in LA for the next two weeks (and since my instructor's in it, no classes for the next two weeks! *wail*). It looked good though... Big ass dance hall, a hundred and twenty seemingly flawless salsa dancers (*gulp*), and all that... Of course, it might have been a bad sign that the performance by the national team was continuously marred up by their flawed and scratched music CD along with Sam's trademark sunglasses falling off in the middle of the performance.

Erm... not a great start but good luck in LA all the same guys! :)

I danced for about 5 minutes before my unique combination of agoraphobia and chorophobia kicked in and i spent the next few hours clutching my chair and threatening anyone who asked me to dance with my imaginary shotgun.

Erm... fun.

Mom wasn't too impressed though. :(

*sigh* Gonna treat her to dessert and coffee at Cafe Cafe instead methinks...

Went for mamak with Al, Chen Hoe, and Ken at Bestari's to listen to them tormenting me about the movie i had missed. And to recount my car accident to them.

Yes. On the way to Bestari's i got rear ended by some fucker named 'Bill' (what malay guy is called BILL???). Basically, i was waiting at the Hartamas traffic lights when the light turned green and the lead car suddenly stopped, causing a sudden brake pedal to metal action from the rest of us behind him (i was third).

Shit, i can still see it now... the sudden brake, the relief at not hitting the Mercedes in front of me... the glance into the rear view mirror... the utterance of the words "No. NO. NOOOOO... nonononononono... Aw crap", followed by a quick sigh, a steadying of my back into the chair and then the awaited sharp impact to the rear of my Ford.

*cue disconsolate sigh, rolling eyes, and mutters of 'WHY??? WHY ME???'*

Which brings us to...

Saturday: So there i was, 9am in the morning meeting with Bill and his girlfriend in the morning drizzle at the Kiara Coffee Bean.


Took him to my mechanic in town where the blatantly obvious was stated - it may have been a relatively small amount of damage but it still was a godamn hole in the bumper, for which a RM1,300 bumper replacement was required. Bill refused. Haggling ensued (thankfully i had brought my ma along - ph34r teh Malaysian housewife i say) but he refused to budge, either we do the police report (which would, as my mechanic whispered to me, only result in shitloads of paperwork, a RM300 fine for him and absolutely no legal liability to pay for my damage - damned Malaysian laws) OR he takes the car to his mechanic in Bangsar for a 'quick fix' option. He of course claims that it wasn't totally his fault (granted Idiot #1 in front was) but still...

We decide to take it to his mechanic who, assuming we were new customers, declares that the bumper be changed. A quick call to Bill and he comes back with the manager singing a different tune of a RM400 touch up that 'would look perfectly fine'.


(Of course, the coolest part was that the manager, who is this old, skinny, chinese dude had to press his vocal cords into place with his fingers in order to speak - making him sound very much like a certain infamous Godfather!)

Well shit... it looks like its better than getting absolutely zilch. But we decide to wait for my father to make the final call tomorrow on whether we should go ahead with this or just get the damn bumper fixed after all (with the RM400 in cash).

I just thank Proton for allowing me to significantly crumple his entire front end (RM1800 of work and counting according to the same mechanic). *smirk*

Bah, godamn pyrrhic victories. They're just so annoyingly bittersweet.

Anyhow, 'twas a loooong day.

Did a two hour marathon salsa practice session with my mother (i WILL dance in public dammit eventually!!!) followed by French class, which was hilarious as usual. Actually, it almost always is... You see, for the last 40 mins of class every week we have this 'dialogue' section whereby all the students group up and are required to perform a scene of some sort in front of the class that is determined by the teacher.

Personally, i have always tried to make my scenarios mind-bendingly... ah... 'memorable' each and every time (and it tends to feature all sorts of morbidity, transexualism, bigotry, ignorance, etc. depending on the scenario). Erm... suffice to say, most people don't particularly like choosing me to be in their group (i tend to ramble incoherently and go waaaaay off the script)...

Take this week's for instance (please remember that this is all being done in French [much funnier trust me!] and is somewhat abridged):

(R is Ranouka, Ro is Roslin, and P is... yeah)

Scenario: You are planning to do an apartment exchange (a common feature of French holiday life - basically people swap houses to hang out in different climes or locations) and you have to outline the advantages and disadvantages of this.

R: I say Sadme (yes, they decided to do a Star Wars routine *sigh* - i must be rubbing off on these guys), but i really do want to get to Coruscant for a holiday but i just don't have the funds.

Ro: Hey! Maybe you should do a palace swap!

R: What's that?

Ro: Its where you swap palaces with someone who is on Coruscant and he/she gets to stay in yours here at Naboo. Its a really cheap and affordable way of going on holiday, etc...

R: Oooh! Sounds good! Etc...

*The following is word for word*

(bored) P: Of course not! Its a HORRIBLE idea! What are you thinking Amidala? Listen, my good friend Vader - remember Vader? Tall guy with that penchant for black clothing and the respiratory problem? Yes, him. Well he actually did this palace swap thing with this guy a while back, and do you know what he saw when he got back home?

An orgy.

Yes, an ORGY.

And not just ANY orgy but a homosexual orgy!!!

It was an utter MESS! Condoms and fur EVERYWHERE!!! Do YOU want that Amidala??? I ask you, DO YOU WANT THAT???

(stumbled on condoms here by calling them 'condiments' when in French they are actually known as 'preservatives')

R: Ehm... but, but... etc. with much more rambling from me...

Hah! The priceless moment came right after when one of the 15 year old kids raised his hand and asked what an 'orgy' was (thanks to my previous antics all the 12 year old already know what 'homosexuel' and 'homme qui est une femme [transexuel]' mean, amongst many other terms). And when it was explained to him he went - "Ohhhh, just like anime!"


I'm honestly surprised that no one has yet told me to stop. Liberal indeed. Heh. :)

Hrmmm... i'll remember to write these down from now on... too bad you've all missed some classic moments like "Unemployed quadraplegic hitman" and "Je suis Stephan - mais maintenant je suis Stephanie! Surprise!!!".

Crap, look at the time! Right, i'll continue this weekend review tomorrow...

And seriously, it IS funnier in French (can't be bothered doing it myself, so a quick visit to Babelfish produces):

Naturellement pas! C'est une idee HORRIBLE! Quelle etes-vous Amidala de pensee?

Ecoutent-ils, mon bon ami Vader - rappelez-vous Vader? Type grand avec ce penchant pour l'habillement noir et le probleme respiratoire? Oui, il. Est-ce que puits il cette chose d'echange de palais avec ce type un dos de moment, et vous a-t-il fait reellement savent ce qu'il a vu quand il est revenu maison?

Une orgie.

Oui, une ORGIE.

Et pas simplement TOUTE orgie mais une orgie homosexuelle!!!

C'etait un DESORDRE total ! Condoms et fourrure PARTOUT!!! Voulez-vous cet Amidala??? Je vous demande que, VOUS VOULEZ CELA???

Whoops! I notice a few errors but mother dearest is kicking me off now... try reading it out for better effect! ;)

Till next time!


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Name: Patrick Pincon
Age: 27
Studied at: Monash
Work: Business Development
Nationality: Malaysian/French
Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

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